Holding in your morning call of nature you pray to God you can squeeze onto the packed public transport bus (leaving in 6 minutes) without sharting.
If only you’d said your prayers, gone to bed on time & not stayed up binge watching the final season of Breaking Bad last night.
Racing frantically against the clock you wish you had time to boil the kettle & get a hot one in you before you slam the door behind you, clench tight & begin sprinting.
If only there existed an instant, fast & energising bolt of morning lightning to bring you to life when your window of underwear-changing commute time is closing quicker than a Morman's front door.
Your prayers have been answered my child, bow your head & take a knee for the almighty Sour Shroom Slingshot. All hail the eye-watering, soul-reincarnating, G-force blast off with a nipple-twisting tangy-twist... Time to shoot from the hip with a zero-prep, resident-recoil, headshot recipe.
The Sour Shroom Slingshot is an apple cider T-virus-vinegar-vaccine wiping out a morning’s domestic evil.
From apocalypse preppers to shart-shuffling office commuters, getting caught with one’s pants down happens to the very best of us. Thankfully here’s a 10-second ice bucket wake-up call to pimp-slap you to life without a pipe-hit of Walter White’s ice-blue ‘product’.
You’ll need 4 things:
Apple cider vinegar with ‘the mother’ (ACV)
A shot glass
3-5 Shroomstar™ gummies
A sleepy flatmate named Tim
How to consume:
Quickly shake the bottle of ACV a few times to mix the sedimented apple particles at the bottom of the bottle. The vinegar should look cloudy.
Fill a shot glass ¾ full with ACV.
Drop in 3-5 Shroomstar™ gummies into the ACV
Pause, take a deep breath & knock that sucker back
Quickly chew the gummies & swallow the sour mixture in one
Cue the waterworks, face pulling & involuntary motor tics
Believe me, hand to friggin’ God, this will bring the undead back to life faster than an Umbrella Lab outbreak.
The benefits of ACV
When combining Apple cider vinegar’s (ACV) eye-watering tangy, sour mixture of vitamins, minerals & antioxidants with the astral travelling blast off from the functional mushrooms you are sonic boomed faster than you can dead-arm your brother & yell ‘Hadouken!’.
ACV is an extremely powerful lightning bolt in a bottle for those looking to get an energetic spike in a short amount of time.
Dropping science
By breaking down carbohydrates & fats, apple cider vinegar's acetic acid helps provide a thundering burst of energy that’s also beneficial for overall physical health. ACV helps harmonise the body's acid-base balance, promoting gut health & better absorption of nutrients from food. ACV also aids digestion which extends the increased energy level for longer throughout your day. ACV's fermentation process yields acetic acid in high concentrations, which can be used to combat bacterial growth while encouraging the proliferation of beneficial bacteria within the gut. This powerhouse formula has been demonstrated to aid in diminishing inflammation, advance digestion, enhance immunity, normalise glucose levels & reduce cholesterol. In addition to being beneficial for general health, ACV contains acetic acid which helps kill harmful bacteria & fungal overgrowths while promoting healthy gut flora balance, essential for optimal physical performance, long term health & mental wellbeing. Its anti-inflammatory properties also help speed up recovery & prevent soft tissue damage from daily repetitive activity.
The benefits of functional mushrooms
The two main ingredients in Shroom Boom® gummies that complement the potency of ACV are Lion’s Mane & Cordyceps. The combination of these compounds work synergistically with the vinegar to aid in mental alertness, sustaining cognitive health, decreasing inflammation in the brain & defending against pesky free radical harm. Lion's mane & Cordyceps are both potent cognitive enhancing mushrooms that’ve been used for centuries in traditional Chinese medicine. They contain compounds that improve mental function, memory recall, & even reduce symptoms of stress & anxiety. In terms of mental performance benefits, Lion's mane & Cordyceps have been shown to improve focus & concentration while boosting overall mood levels. Studies have also demonstrated that taking these mushrooms can improve short term memory recall along with enhanced long term memory formation capabilities - making them excellent ‘tools’ for those spending hours at a computer. Not only do they provide neuroprotective benefits, but consuming these game changing mushrooms help boost focus, concentration levels & general motivation - all while simultaneously alleviating feelings of stress, overwhelm & anxiousness.
Lion's mane & Cordyceps
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Rewards of Routine
As I’ve talked about at length in other articles, creating an airtight daily routine is the key to long term sustainable health, success & happiness. In a perfect world you don’t even need to drink a shot of eye watering vinegar in the morning to wake you up as you hit the sack on time & got more than enough sleep last night. Agree?
But dialling in a clockwork schedule takes time, patience & a lot of discipline. For those who are still chipping away at their schedules & haven’t finished polishing their protocols...
Thankfully, there’s a shot-sized rump-kicking sour solution that packs a spike of motivating morning momentum without a crippling caffeine crash.
The Sour Shroom Slingshot is an AM coffee-replacing adrenaline spike. Most Shroomers often suffer a post-lunch carb-crash & there’s no better way to regain full control of your day than knocking back a sweet & sour shroom-shot thunderbolt.
Although the awakening effects of a Sour Shroom Slingshot are instant, it’s important to use functional mushrooms as part of a consistent daily schedule. Try to use them at the same set time every day for the long-term brain-boosting benefits to really take root.
The Limitless Level-Up
Let’s be real, drinking a shot of vinegar isn't everyone’s preferred way to start the day but goddamn will it spinning pile-driver you awake FAST. Like I’ve said before, people give zero capital F’s about widgets, supplements or gadgets, what they actually care about are the benefits these products give them.
People do not ‘like’ drinking tequila, but they do ‘like’ getting lit. People ‘do not care’ about pre-workouts, but they ‘do care’ about a sick pump & shirtless mirror selfies. Lastly, nobody actually cares about drinking shots of vinegar, all they want is to feel wide-the-heck-awake without a steep crash. Agreed?
David Rees
Founder, CEO
Shroomstar™
With a forensic eye for aesthetic detail & Navy SEAL operational discipline, founder, CEO & creative director David Rees drives the strategic business vision of Shroomstar™.
Sleeve High Neck Bodycon Dress
$132.00
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